Life abroad: As Rasa tells it » USA

New York Blues

rsiminkas — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:29:00 +0000

Finally my time here is coming to an end. I had been having problems with my family for several reasons. Firstly, over concern over the places where we plan to be in our near future; Syria for language classes. Secondly, my mother admitted that she has a hard time supporting my goals because she cannot even imagine that one of her daughters could acheive such a position. Thirdly, I think they have concerns over my relationship with Bobby since they do not see us together often and they probably best remember the times when we were having problems.

What I have noticed is how different our time apart is this time. For the first 2 years of our relationship we were apart for months at a time because of Bobby’s job. He had worked on ships installing fiber-optic cables in the ocean. This allowed him to travel all over the world; it lead to a lot of time apart but also gave us a lot of time together. All of the times apart were difficult for me but still so different from how it is now. Previously our seperations were because of Bobby’s job, this is the first time that our time apart is because I was the one to leave. I have grown accustomed to having Bobby’s support and companionship at any time, all the time. While I spent one month in France with out him, I missed him because I wished he was there to share all of the great things that I got to see and do. It wasn’t as fun as I know it would have been with him by my side.

While I have been in NY it has been a completely different story. I have missed him so much just because I really feel I needed his support and encouragement. I have been grilled a lot by my family, I think it is hard for him to understand because he has not been here to experience the frequency of it. His primary concern has been of our new laptop and all of the bells and whistles which accompany it. I am not a computer wizard, I have basic skills and I am afraid that I have not handled his concerns very well. I know they need to be done I also feel so helpless because not only do I not understand everything but it is also not my primary concern. I have been trying to spend some quality time with my mom, it is getting much better. I will feel much better when I can come back with Bobby actually here with me. I will have my support right there with me and I think my mom will be much more relaxed too.

Only 2 more full days left in NY and 30 more days until I am back in the Philippines.

I’m in the money!!

rsiminkas — Tue, 24 May 2005 21:55:00 +0000

Today I am officially rich! I have been selected as the recipient of the George T. Dorsch Scholarship from the History of Art Department from my former school the Fashion Institute of Technology. The award was intended for a student who excelled in Art History (a minimum of 4 A grades) and has a desire to continue their education further.

I received the checks (3 checks since the amount was so large!) and today I placed them in a 24 month CD at the bank! So it is official, unfortunately I will not be able to enjoy a dime of that money and it will just sit there and grow until Bobby and I are off to grad school.

It felt really good to be able to have some tangible evidence that my time in the Philippines has not been a waste. I insisted that my mother accompanied me to the bank so she could participate, she is getting better every day but I think that it is all this money that is putting her in such an understanding mood!

I have known of this grant for over a year now. After much plotting based on the chance of receiving this award, it actually happened! Now our future plans which may have appeared to be ridiculous are all one step closer.

The Homecoming-Long Island NY

rsiminkas — Tue, 24 May 2005 06:20:00 +0000

It has been nearly a year since I have last been at my childhood home. I have called Kabankalan, Negros Occidental, Philippines home since last July. My finace Bobby had been assigned to this city by the US Peace Corps and I joined him about 3 months after he moved there. It took a bit of persuasion and consideration but I finally mustered up the courage to quit my job with a fashion company in NYC. My life was slowly rotting away in my cubicle and my soul was rapidly being defeated by my 2 hour one way trip. Moving to the Philippines was a surprisingly easy choice.

What has proven to be a more difficult choice was to visit my family in New York. My parents came to America from Lithuania with a hope for a brighter future from this land of opportunity. It has proven to be a constant struggle to explain to my mom that perhaps, the Philippines could be MY land of opportunity. I think day by day she is becoming more accepting of my decision but I still don’t think that she fully understands it. I had been terrified to face all of the inevitable interrogation but I had received news that I was eligible for a large grant and there would be an interview to take place in NY. Needless to say, I was on my way.

I have had very little contact with my family since being in the Philippines. I received about 4 emails and a few text messages. Now I am in family overload and I am really quite overwhelmed. Bobby and I had recently announced that we will have our wedding in Egypt and have not gotten a very warm welcome to this decision. Not that people are not happy for our upcoming marriage but they are upset at the thought of leaving their comfort zone. They will be entering a world that the US media does not paint a pretty image of.

So basically I have been an army of one these past few days. I am constantly having to fight for and to justify no longer just our living in the Philippines (which baffled most) but to now also to keep the peace over the choice of our wedding location. I am utterly exhausted physically and emotionally. I have 35 more days until I am back in the Philippines and can have some peace!