Today was an interesting day. My counterpart, along with Bobby’s planned some farewell events for us. Yesterday there was a special farewell flag ceremony and then today there was a special part of the council members meeting for us. They actually passed an official city resolution to honor our time here in Kabankalan. My counterpart summarized our activities here and said some very touching things. We had no idea that there was going to be an official document of thanks, it was very nice.
Bobby and I each said a few words and we were about to return to our seats when the Vice-Mayor started to speak. He said that the thing that impresses him most about Robert is that he has been faithful to me this entire time even though there are so many beautiful women around. I was SHOCKED. It is generally accepted to have affairs here. I was just shocked that at a city council member session to talk about what goes on in the bedroom with people who are there to be recognized. Bobby hadn’t said anything so I jumped in and said something to the effect that he has been faithful because he is afraid of me; I am strong! Then I threw some fake punches at him. It really got me thinking about the morals of the highly religious people here. We have to pray before anything is started here. There is no separation of church and state at all. There are prayers at the flag raising, before the session starts, before you eat, and even before the ferry boat leaves. They pray for everything then moments later basically say that it is expected for a man to pursue any pretty girl around.
It really bothered me because a statement like that puts Bobby’s morals into question and my worth. I know it was not intended to be anything bad in any way, they see nothing wrong and possibly expect all males to slip every now and then. A man should not be commended for being faithful to his partner, if you are in a relationship you are SUPPOSED to be faithful, otherwise, why enter into a relationship? Every now and then we hear comments that Western women are loose or that most westerner get divorces. I think people get divorces because they do not NEED to be married. Marriage is an institution for those who respect and genuinely WANT to be together, if you don’t want to be together anymore, you get divorced. I think also for respect for the other person it would be better to get divorced. Here, people tend to marry the first person they sexually engage with, typically because the girl got pregnant and stay together until death do you part.
Certainly a clash of cultures and ideas. I can honestly say that this is not a day I will forget soon.
