Finally my time here is coming to an end. I had been having problems with my family for several reasons. Firstly, over concern over the places where we plan to be in our near future; Syria for language classes. Secondly, my mother admitted that she has a hard time supporting my goals because she cannot even imagine that one of her daughters could acheive such a position. Thirdly, I think they have concerns over my relationship with Bobby since they do not see us together often and they probably best remember the times when we were having problems.
What I have noticed is how different our time apart is this time. For the first 2 years of our relationship we were apart for months at a time because of Bobby’s job. He had worked on ships installing fiber-optic cables in the ocean. This allowed him to travel all over the world; it lead to a lot of time apart but also gave us a lot of time together. All of the times apart were difficult for me but still so different from how it is now. Previously our seperations were because of Bobby’s job, this is the first time that our time apart is because I was the one to leave. I have grown accustomed to having Bobby’s support and companionship at any time, all the time. While I spent one month in France with out him, I missed him because I wished he was there to share all of the great things that I got to see and do. It wasn’t as fun as I know it would have been with him by my side.
While I have been in NY it has been a completely different story. I have missed him so much just because I really feel I needed his support and encouragement. I have been grilled a lot by my family, I think it is hard for him to understand because he has not been here to experience the frequency of it. His primary concern has been of our new laptop and all of the bells and whistles which accompany it. I am not a computer wizard, I have basic skills and I am afraid that I have not handled his concerns very well. I know they need to be done I also feel so helpless because not only do I not understand everything but it is also not my primary concern. I have been trying to spend some quality time with my mom, it is getting much better. I will feel much better when I can come back with Bobby actually here with me. I will have my support right there with me and I think my mom will be much more relaxed too.
Only 2 more full days left in NY and 30 more days until I am back in the Philippines.
You will always have my support. Even if I am so preoccupied with mice and firewires. I am always thinking of you buy I also know you are very capable in handling yourself. This, I have seen, to little doubt this last year. You make me proud and I only ask of you because I have faith in you. Kisses